my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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