Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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