did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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