i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
