He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
