Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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