You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
