ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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