you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
