I want to have your abortion
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
