my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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