okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
