Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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