I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
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