I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Randomize
