her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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