I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
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