But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so that wasnt chicken after all
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I feel great
I just peed on a car
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Randomize
