I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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