you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
