Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
