So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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