she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
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