i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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