i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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