Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
