but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
