You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
