doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
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