I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
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