Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
