That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
