i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
