Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
i think i just lost a toe
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
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