I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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