You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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