It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
