hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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