No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
