she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Randomize
