Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
