Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
