I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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