my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Randomize
