I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Randomize
