break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
