Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
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