I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
