: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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