I won't be sarcastic... just naked
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
What drink are we having for lunch?
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Randomize
