You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
