I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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