I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
