when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
