..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
