Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
Randomize
