I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
